ISLAND of WI Cheese

As many of you may know, in anticipation of this year's Twin Cities Food & Wine Experience, I just couldn't shut up about a magical island of Wisconsin cheese that always appears at the convention center much like the legend of Brigadoon. Like Brigadoon, the island only shows up once a year, yet while inhabitants of the mythical Scottish townn are not allowed to leave, the visitors to the Wisconsin Cheese Island won't ever want to leave.

It's that epic.

Now, you're probably thinking, "Why, Ms. Quarter, such an extravagant heavenly place couldn't possibly exist!"

To which I post the following photographic proof in reply:
Folks, the entire expanse of what you see (framed by the black pipe and drape) is the realm of the Cheese Island, ruled by Mayor Asiago and General Gorgonzola in a military dictatorship. Subjects of said autocratic government never complain.

Need a closer look? Liking what you see? Let's get down to brass tacks.

I give you: Brass Tacks.

You're welcome.

Join Ms. Quarter next year at the food and wine show when the mythical island of Wisconsin cheese is scheduled to make it's next appearance.

12 Days of Fermented Christmas: Day Twelve

Yes, that's right folks. We've arrived at the final entry in A Quarter Century's blog countdown to the Twin Cities food and wine show.

I've pre-dated this sucker because, let's be honest, I'm going to be too busy tomorrow (today) to be writing any blog posts. Though you can be certain there will be a recap on Monday.

Whaddya say? Shall we finish this?

Day Twelve: Chino Latino
Chino Latino has been known for pushing the envelope - in food fusion, mixology, and advertising.

This is why we love them.

Their menu is a fusion of Latin and Asian food. It sounds like it wouldn't go together, but it's surprisingly delicious.

When I was living in Minneapolis, the restaurant caused quite a stir with their racist billboard advertising. This was the point - any publicity is good publicity, I guess - but the nice, conservative folks in Minnesota did not agree.

Slogans like "Our happy hour is cheaper than a Bangkok brothel" got all sorts of negative response from folks who've watched the documentary Born into Brothels. "There are poor, enslaved, child prostitutes in Bangkok brothels and it's insensitive to remind us nice, conservative Minnesotans of that fact," said most of the dissenters.

Yes, the plight of Third World enslaved children is awful, and we should all be not just writing concerned emails to the Executive Chef of Chino Latino, but actually doing something to change the world in which such injustices operate. But the point of the ads was to stir up controversy and have Chino Latino become a household name.

They were successful.

However, their ads of late have become much more user-friendly, drawing little criticism from folks who are labeled "not so much" on the Tongue-In-Cheek scale of humor.

Examples:

12 Days of Fermented Christmas: Day Eleven

Holy cow, guys. We're at D-Day for the Twin Cities food and wine show!

If...you know...D-Day was understood to be the event that lead to the U.S. participation in WWII, with WWII being the actual event, the culmination so to speak.

So then today is the day that will lead us to Minneapolis, with the food and wine show tomorrow being the actual event.

...er...

It's a weak metaphor, okay? Moving on.

Day Eleven: Crispin Cider Company
Crispin Cider Company was named "The Hottest Cold Beverage 2009. The wine drinker's beer (and the beer drinker's wine)" by Twin Cities Business.

Crispin lives up to it's name, made with "premium apple juice, not from concentrate with no added malt, grape wine or spirit alcohol. [The] unique flavors are smoothed with pure apple juice or organic honey or organic maple syrup and contain no added colorants, sorbate or benzoate preservatives and are cold filtered for crisp refreshment."

Yum.

They've got a lot of fun videos on their website. I'd have to say a good one is Mayor Rybak dancing with the Crispin Cider bottle in downtown Minneapolis. One can only hope we'll have the option of dancing with the giant bottle tomorrow.

My Night at the Roller Derby

Have you ever been to a roller derby?

http://flickr.com/photos/colinj/ / CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

It's brutal. Intimidating women on wheels, hip-to-hip jostling, the occassional fast-flying skater tumbling into the front row of spectators...brutal.

But also awesome.

For the low, low price of $15, the Brew City Bruisers give you two matches and a half-time show.

Don't be fooled. They say they're an "amateur" league, but I wonder if that's just meant to lull you into a feeling of safety.

Having lived in Eastern Europe, my favorite team is, of course, The Rushin' Rollettes, but as far as clever names go, The Shevil Knevils are a close second.

Speaking of clever names, the ladies have some pretty good ones themselves. I'd have to say Coco Shrapnel of the Crazy Eights is my favorite lady skater name, and [O]edipus Ref is my favorite name of all the dudes in stripes.

Like everyone seated around us, LB and I took the liberty of coming up with as many roller derby names as we could think of. Seeing as how this illustrious event took place five days ago, you'll forgive me if these are all that I can remember:

Commie Kaze - skating for the Rushin' Rollettes team, of course
Frito Slaya - delicious with chili and cheese poured on top
Conflict Diamond - this would be my name, and I stole it from Joss Whedon
Minx Stoli - this would be LB's name, and she'd keep a mini bottle in her skate at all times, again, no doubt she'd be skating for the Rushin' Rollettes
Schlitzkreig - a good ol' Milwaukee original, sure to skate for the Brew City Bruisers or Milwaukee maidens
Cleoscratchya - a history lesson in Egypt's fascination with felines
Elizabeth the Fist - another history lesson that packs a punch

Debating what your roller derby name would be is all fine and good, especially if you're clever about it (I'm talking to you young ladies seated behind us, "Baywatch Babe"?!?! Really?!?!), but what really made the night entertaining were the breakskaters.

That's right, folks, I said "breakskaters."

You: "What is a breakskater, Ms. Quarter?"
Me: "An illusion of awesomeness, You, an illusion of awesomeness."

Now why an "illusion" you ask?

Go ahead. I'll wait.

Well, because, though breakdancing on skates - which is what breakskating is, after all - is awesome, I'm pretty sure that it takes a lot of practice to be able to do those sweet moves on wheels.

This leads me to two conclusions.

1. At one point in your young life you thought, "Hey, I think breakdancing on rollerskates would be pretty sweet."

and

2. You then spent the entirety of your childhood practicing your breakskating at the local roller rink.

Illusion of awesomeness, people, illusion.

12 Days of Fermented Christmas: Day Ten

Mooooooooo!

Y'hear that? That's the sound of Day Ten in A Quarter Century's countdown to the Twin Cities food and wine show.

Day Ten: Manny's Steakhouse
In 2008 the Star-Tribune named Manny's Steakhouse the Restaurant of the Year. Why? Well, as their website says, "First and last, there’s the beef: USDA-certified, dry-aged, and center-cut. Hand-trimmed to our specifications, and cooked to yours."

Bada-bing.

If you love red meat, then this is the place for you. It's upscale decor (not to mention the food) is top rated by Zagat, but you can come as you please - there's no dress code and no formality.

12 Days of Fermented Christmas: Day Nine

Today's episode of A Quarter Century's countdown to the Twin Cities Food & Wine Show is a personal favorite.

Day Nine: Wild Blue
Wild Blue is a delicious, blueberry-flavored lager.

Unless, of course, the show organizers meant Wild Blue Yonder, a bluegrass band from Tennessee.

But I think we're on the right track with the lager.

As described on Wild Blue's website: "Wild Blue is a blueberry lager that fuses the juice of nature’s perfect fruit – blueberries – with premium American and German hops, two row and six-row barley malt and cereal grains."

Yes, blueberries are nature's perfect fruit.

The makers of the brew, Blue Dawg Brewing, pair all of the above with bulldogs. One is pictured playing kickball with a blueberry on the beer's label. The website is littered with puppy photos. They even disguise finding Wild Blue near you as "Yappy Hour."

I'm not sure if that's the most appetizing connection, but it's not up to me.

And picture of drooly dog aside, this beer is delish.

40 Days

I used to not give things up for Lent.

I used to think it was an outward sign of a religion and not necessarily my faith - a cheap way for people to feel faithful, or worse, simply a family tradition.

I used to want to wait until I was stronger in my faith to give up something for Lent, because then it would mean something more.

But then I realized that I'll never be stronger in my faith than I am at this moment, and I'll always be a sinner.

I realized that giving something up for Lent might just strengthen my faith and my commitment to religion - every time I deny myself, "give something up," I'll remember what Christ gave up for me.

And so I realized that I'm going to give up something for Lent this year, and through the act of giving, I'll be placing myself, humbly, before God.

I'm going to use 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 for inspiration:

19Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

The Apostle (Saint if you're Catholic) Paul is talking about sexual sin, sin commited inside the body. The same body in which the Holy Spirit resides.

For the purposes of my Lenten sacrifice I will interpret Paul's meaning a bit differently.

I want to honor my body as a temple to God this Lenten season (and, hopefully, beyond) by the nourishment that I put into it. For Lent, I'm going to give this a try by giving up processed foods.

What does that mean?

That means this will be a tough challenge.

Eliminating processed foods is a daunting task in America - the land of canned, shrinkwrapped foodstuffs. It's always disturbed me how much of the food I eat is wrapped in plastic. Food that is so processed that it's about as far from it's natural, life-sustaining ingredients as you could get.

You know how you always feel great after eating fresh fruit, veggies, and grains? And how you feel sluggish and gross after fast food? I'm shooting for more of the former than the latter.

So I'm hoping to get back to the basics, so to speak. And in doing so, honor the body God has given me - make it as healthy as it can be by the fuel I put into it.

In doing so, not only will I make a healthier me, but also I will remember why I am making the change. Hopefully the result will be a renewed faith and a strengthening of spirit.

Hey, hey, hey! It's Faaaaaaat Tuesday!

Oh, Fat Albert, if you only knew how much you really inspired me as a child.

Well, Internets, I hope you've got a helmet to protect you from all of the beads and doubloons flying your way, because Mardi Gras is here.

It's a well-known fact that I faithfully celebrate the holiday each year, but rather than get dressed up in a skimpy, glittery number with a feathered headdress, I opt for beignets.


Not to be confused with paczki, Polish Americans. Pączki are for Tłusty czwarte.



It was many moons ago - one February Thursday 4 years ago - when I found myself alone, in the middle of the night, in a Polish train station in the middle of nowhere. I and two other passengers were waiting for our connection to Cieszyn.

One, an older man, fell asleep on a bench across the station. The other, a young, studious-looking man left the station into the dark of night for places unknown.

Color me surprised when he returned a short 20 minutes later.

Color me another level of surprised (threat level orange, maybe?) when he came over to me, sat down, and pulled out a bakery bag.

He proceeded to pull out two pączki and handed one to me. Nevermind where he managed to purchase pączki in the middle of the night in Poland. Perhaps Tłusty czwarte is reason enough, though, in my experience of European countries, things usually shut down on holidays, not remain open longer.

Bygones.

Regardless of where the sugary abundance came from, I enjoyed a few moments with my new friend.

He didn't speak English and I don't speak Polish, so we weren't friends for long.

Just long enough to enjoy the moment together.

Let this be a lesson to you men - a wordless moment shared with a woman when donuts are also involved means you'll be remembered forever.

PS - If you're looking for a good time, Cafe Imperial in Prague keeps a plate of stale donuts on their counter. For a nominal fee (in the scheme of things) you can purchase the donuts and chuck them at anyone in the cafe with Imperial's full support.

12 Days of Fermented Christmas: Day Eight

Are you ready yet? Because we're officially two-thirds of the way through our countdown to the Twin Cities Food & Wine Show.

Day Eight: Bombay Bistro
Bombay Bistro was voted "Best Indian Restaurant in the Twin Cities in 2007" by City Pages.

If you're smart then you know that Indian food is delicious. And if you're smart then you'll buy a ticket to the food and wine show so you can taste Bombay Bistro's food. Or, I suppose, you could just have dinner at the restaurant. It is conveniently located in downtown Minneapolis, just down Marquette Avenue from the convention center where the food and wine show will be held.

I don't have a personal anecdote specific to Bombay Bistro, but the other day I was a burning a scented candle that smelled like curry and it really made me want some peshwari naan bread.

12 Days of Fermented Christmas: Day Seven

We're officially over halfway through our countdown Internets!

Today's episode of A Quarter Century's countdown to the Twin Cities Food & Wine Experience takes a detour from the usual alcohol-fueled post.

This time we're taking a look at our caffeine options available at this year's show. Goodness knows we'll need to stock up on energy in the morning, and refuel after a few hours of hard tasting.

Day Seven: Peace Coffee
Peace Coffee, based in Minneapolis, is self-described as, "a cultural, social, and consumable revolution with grounds firmly fixed in a farmer-friendly, fair trade reality."

For you Cream City citizens, think Alterra but in Minnesota.

By now, if you've been reading my blog and Twitter post, you probably know about my love affair with coffee.

And it's no joke that when your energy is flagging at hour 3 of the 7 hour food and wine show, nothing picks you up quite like a Dixie cup of black gold.