“Why don’t you have a boyfriend?”
I think I must be asked this question at least once a month, which is quite often when you consider how rarely I meet somebody new AND spend enough time getting to know him or her in order to feel comfortable talking about this topic.
I have met my share of men in these twenty-five years - some charming, some not, most married or taken, a few not for painfully obvious reasons, and the select few who were great and not already taken (a rare find). Such Rare Finds either became my boyfriend, or most often, my friend.
Regardless of the outcomes of my few relationships, throughout my quarter century of life I began to take notice of a certain phenomenon. This phenomenon began to assert itself in my teen years, most often in observing my friends’ dating experiences versus my own (read: them = plentiful, me = scarce).
The observations continued in college and beyond, the intensity increasing with the advent of engagements and marriages amongst said friends and acquaintances. What is this phenomenon? The difference between my friends and I in the dating game?
I call it The Line.
You know about The Line.
It is the divide between the friend and the girlfriend (or boyfriend in the dude’s case). It is what determines whether you will be in the Girlfriend (boyfriend) category or Friend category.
My friends were usually in the Girlfriend category while I languished in the Friend.
Why this difference? I am sure there are innumerable answers to this riddle – several factors that make up the whole, yet the answer is probably simpler than we think. The answer, of course, is the same one that will satisfy the question above, yet is woefully elusive to this Quarter Century gal.
So until it becomes clear, I will continue to answer the above questions with this: Because I’m busy.