5 Best Christmas Movies

Last week, I started A Quarter Century's Christmas Countdown with list of the 5 Best Christmas Albums (in my estimation, anyway, which is the only one that counts in this corner of the interwebs).

Part promotion of my favorite Christmas music, part well-intentioned ploy to increase my playlist with your comments, it was a fun rundown of good tunes.

In this week's installment of our newly-created Yuletide countdown, I offer you films instead.

Without further ado...

5 Best Christmas Films

5. Love Actually

Some wouldn't consider this a Christmas film so much as a film about relationships, love, etc, but as it takes place at Christmas time, includes a killer Christmas soundtrack, and offers lovely set design, we're going to count it.

What I love best about this film is that the underlying message in all of the storylines is that, simply because it's Christmas, there's no more perfect time to take a chance on love.

In a day and age when the suicide rate increases during the holiday season, it's a message that's worth repeating.

Bill Nighy as Billy Mack may also have something to do with my love of the film.

"If you believe in Christmas, children, like your Uncle Billy does, then buy my festering turd of a record."

The only thing I really don't like about the movie is the storyline and scenes between the two adult film actors. In general, I'm not one to appreciate such things - call me old school, but I really also have a simple intolerance for anything that's so obviously gratuitious in films...whether it be sex, nudity, vomit, violence, or bloodshed.

Just because the ratings commission says you can show it doesn't mean you have to, or that you should. Oftentimes, I find that less is more, and my overactive imagination is much better at eliciting the proper emotions than anything they can put on screen.

4. Miracle on 34th Street

You can take your 2000 version of this film and throw it out the window.

There's nothing better than Edmund Gwenn's rendition of Kris Kringle, nor Maureen O'Hara's or Natalie Wood's performances.

FACT: The parade sequence in this 1947 film was the actual parade...no one knew that Fox was filming it for the movie.

FACT: Edmund Gwenn won an Oscar for his perfomance as Santa in this film

FACT: The 2000 version isn't awful; it's just not in the same ballpark as the original.

3. Elf

There's something that's just so hilarious about this film.

Probably Will Ferrell's performance.

I really love the scene where James Caan takes him to the doctor's for a DNA test, and not only does Buddy delightfully eat cotton balls, but he acts like such an ADD toddler that we cannot help but fall out of our chairs laughing.

And who can't appreciate the nod to Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer in the way the North Pole is styled once Buddy begins his journey to New York City?

While I'm not sure it should get "classic" status just yet, I love the way this film reminds us of the kid we all have inside us.

2. Home Alone

I know a boy who loves this film.

Last year he got a long, toboggen-shaped sled for Christmas.

One day, his mother was working upstairs in her office, and small boy asks if he can sit on his sled (to dream of powdery snow, giggle-inducing sled runs, and face plant landings, I'm sure we can all assume).

Mom said yes.

A few minutes later she heard the tell-tale, rapid-succession "thump, thump, wump, thump" of a sled being driven down her carpeted staircase by aforementioned small boy.

This ill-fated run was followed up by a quick smack into the wall at the bottom of the stairs, tears, and a small boy scared crapless.

Lesson learned? I'm pretty sure that's a yes. (Note: no small children were harmed in the making of this blogging episode)

Needless to say, sometimes those warnings of "Don't try this at home" are quite helpful.

Personally, I love this John Hughes film for its set decoration. The entire house is outfitted in green and red down to the very wallpaper.

Additionally, the soundtrack is quite tremendous.

And you won't find a better rendition of this franchise without the lovable polka playing John Candy or the hopelessly klutzy Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern.

Home Alone 2: Lost in New York is a good one, but I don't think any of the sequels live up to the original.

1. White Christmas

I can't help it.

I love this film so much that I don't consider my Christmas season started until I watch it.

The musical number, Mandy (pictured at right), that is my namesake (if you say something often enough it becomes true, right?) may have something to do with it.

Strictly speaking, there's not much Christmas in the film - the themes mainly run toward giving, romance, and Irving Berlin's genious. However, the end scene where the entire audience joins the four leads in singing White Christmas and the shed doors open to show a beautiful pastoral scene of winter always...ALWAYS...bring a tear to my eye.

Honourable Mentions: I'm keeping this list to 5 for reasons even unknown to me, but there are a few other films I love during the holiday season. In no particular order:

It's a Wonderful Life
Not expected to be a hit, this film was released in July. Most were surprised at the reaction it received, and it stayed in theaters for over 5 months. As I've said before, Jimmy Stewart is my favorite Hollywood actor of all time, and I love his George Bailey.

A Charlie Brown Christmas
I mainly didn't include this one on the list, because it debuted as a television special and I already had a limited number of spots for "Best Films." Best part about this little gem? The soundtrack.

What are your favorites? Leave a comment and help me increase my DVD collection!

5 Best Christmas Albums

The time has come.

The time for non-stop Christmas music and movies.

I've been trying - successfully - to hold myself back from dabbling in the Christmas spirit until Thanksgiving had it's rightful day to shine, and now that day is over, my friends. O.V.E.R.

Onward to the snow-covered, jingle-belled climes of Yuletide, I say.

And so I celebrate the official beginning of Christmas season (by my own pronouncement, which is official enough for me), with a countdown of my favorite holiday albums of all time...er, well, in my short life anyway.

5. A Charlie Brown Christmas
The classic TV special has a great soundtrack that offers, not so much sing-along entertainment, but rather nice background music to your decorating, cookie baking, or gift wrapping lazy December Saturdays. I sometimes put this on when I'm making those stupid cut-out cookies...you know the ones I mean...the delicious sugary, buttery, frosted confections that are great to eat but a real pain in the behind to make. The time goes a bit more quickly and cheerfully once I find myself dancing to Linus's piano jams whilst rolling out yet another round of dough.

4. Dave Barnes - Very Merry Christmas
In real life I'm a big fan of Dave Barnes, and was oh, so pleasantly surprised to see he had a new Christmas album out when I was shopping in the CD store for my favorite sister's St. Nick present (hint, hint).

File this under, "How did I not know this?!?!" and "Tart-y to the Party"

Regardless of how long it took me to discover the wonders of this album, I appreciate its perfect blend of traditional favorites like the Bing Crosby classic (you know how I love Bing) "I'll Be Home for Christmas" with new favorites like "Very Merry Christmas," "I Pray on Christmas," and "Family Tree." Barnes does it up right with just the right amount of soul, pop, and jazzy pep.

3. Amy Grant - A Christmas Album
You may disagree with me on this one, but A Christmas Album is my favorite Amy Grant Christmas album. It's my favorite, not only because I fondly remember my mom playing it nonstop during holiday baking and decorating, but also because of the classic early 90's styling of the cover art. I'm sorry Amy, but I always thought you were so much older than you really were because of this picture alone. The 80's holdover hair? The mom jeans? The overdone dark eye makeup? It's one of my favorite memories of Christmas.

Again, I'm sorry Amy. I really do love your music!

2. Barlow Girl - Home for Christmas
I. Flippin. Love. This. Album.

I can't say it enough. I dig Barlow Girl on any given day, but when Christmas rolls around, this album is usually on my nonstop driving playlist - at least since it debuted in 2008. I have to be careful to only play it when I'm driving after dusk because I'm so busy singing along that I can hide how stupid I look under the cover of winter's early sunset darkness.

I also have to be careful to not listen to it when I'm running because sometimes I forget that I'm running...in public...and that I shouldn't sing along out loud.


1. Ultimate White Christmas
No list of Christmas albums would be complete without Bing. Oh, Bing.

I think I was born in the wrong decade, because add in Jimmy Stewart and you've got my two favorite Hollywood actors.

Personally, my Christmas season does not officially start until I watch White Christmas.

God help the studio that tries to remake this classic, because I will not be held responsible for my actions.

The movie's soundtrack can be found in a variety of releases, but this one is my favorite for two reasons.

1. It includes my namesake musical number (or so I tell myself), Mandy, and
2. It's the closest you'll come to a soundtrack for the movie (Clooney and Crosby were contracted to two different labels, and so an official soundtrack was never, contractually, possible).

The songs by Rosemary Clooney were recorded separately under her label, and so this is more of a compilation...thus making the tracks sound a bit muffled at times due to differences in mastering and production.

Blame the studios.

I do.

Until some sort of digital remastering magic happens, this is the best album to give you your White Christmas favorites.

Of course, you can always set your tape player up close to your TV and hit "record" while you watch the movie. Anyone remember doing that when making mix tapes from the radio's Top 40?

Are your favorites missing from the list? Continue the list of Best Christmas albums by leaving a comment!

A Play-by-Play of Lunch at @EateryonFarwell

As you know from my previous post, I enjoyed a free lunch at Eatery on Farwell yesterday. I had never been there before, shame on me, and, of course, I don’t have a Smartphone so was unable to provide a Tweetathon during the momentous event.

Here’s the play by play as I remember it:

For your typical written in long-form write-up, see my review on Yelp! - 1st to review, baby!

1:04 PM Pull up to Eatery on Farwell and demonstrate a perfectly turned out parallel park. You’re welcome, traffic behind me on Farwell, for the excellent driver’s ed demo.

1:07 PM Enter Eatery on Farwell and speak to pleasurable host, slipping it in that I’m their version of the Miss America First Runner Up

1:10 PM Seated near window for maximum people watching entertainment

1:11 PM Sadly, and with great regret, decline the Bloody Mary. Must save drinking for off hours. Diet coke it is.

1:15 PM Why does fountain soda taste so much better than canned soda?

1:16 PM *sip* Ahhhhh…..

1:20 PM Peruse menu. Salads, brunch, should I do brinner? Sandwic…..huh? Avocado aioli?!??!

1:23 PM Order “The Farwell” (BLT with jalapeno bacon, smoked turkey, tomato, lettuce, and, yep, avocado aioli)

1:27 PM Side? I get a side? Veggie chips, yes please

1:29 PM Get out “Single Diner Props,” and write article for work as I wait for food

1:36 PM Geez, that was fast! I only got to third paragraph, and now must eat whilst I’m on a literary roll.

1:38 PM Take first bite

1:38 PM (and 2 seconds) Holy crap….

1:39 PM Mmm….spice….

Back to writing…
1:40 PM Nope, that second quote should go after (grabs chip) the first para….

1:40 PM (and 15 seconds) Woah, don’t you just love extra crunchy chips?

1:48 PM Choices, choices, choices…lick the avocado off my fingers or go for the second half of my sandwich?

1:48 PM (and 20 seconds) How the heck am I gonna eat the second half of my sandwich?

1:48 PM (and 25 seconds) I’m no quitter

1:55 PM Uncle!

Needless to say I highly recommend The Farwell and, by extension, the Eatery on Farwell. They offer unique twists and flavor combinations on your tried and true pub fare – surely a crowd pleaser for even the most “meat and potatoes” Wisconsinite. Try ‘em yourselves…

Eatery on Farwell
2014 N. Farwell Avenue
Milwaukee, WI 53212

I hear their Bloodies are tremendous, and absolutely must get back there in the next week or so to try ‘em (think they’ll splash a little Rehorst Gin on top for me?). Hit me up if you wanna join me for a taste test of their Happy Hour…

Monday – Friday, 3:00 PM – 6:00 PM
$5 Rehorst Mixers
$3 Lakefront
$2 Miller, Schlitz, PBR

Yes, I memorized their Happy Hour menu. Bite me.

Review: Waiting for Superman

I was lucky enough to catch a free screening of Waiting for Superman last night at the Oriental. The controversial documentary, which takes a closer look at the American public school system and its failures, opens on Friday at a theater near you.


This film also screened at the Milwaukee Film Festival to a sold out theater, which is why I missed it then. I heard from viewers that it takes an unfair stance against the public school system, highlights charter schools as the end all be all, and paints the teacher's unions as the main, evil obstacle to reform.

I found out that these were not only overly simplistic criticisms, but also not entirely true when taken in the context of the entire film.

Guggenheim does show the major pitfalls to reform, showcases some of the worst public schools in the country, and highlights some of the best charter schools. Sure, it's a little biased. But I think the main point of the film is that the system is broken. What it was designed to do in the 1950's is no longer relevant to the reality of today's job market or what our country needs in educated workers in order to be globally competitive.

As my friend, an educator, stated after the film, if all this documentary does is raise awareness of the problem and all of the underlying, systemic issues that reform faces, then it was successful. (J - I paraphrased)

One of the most surprising things I learned was that American schools do employ - to some extent - the track system similar to that of European schools, and of which I'm not sure many of us were aware.

In Europe, students are tested throughout their time in school - much like the U.S. - and based upon the results of those tests are put on certain career tracks. For example, when I taught in Hungary, my students prepared for their Matura examinations. Their choice of university - and subsequent career - was based upon the marks they received. This was mainly because university is free in Hungary for any student who gets the marks to attend.

In the U.S. we would know this as Gifted & Talented programs - students who perform best on the tests are put into these higher-learning programs with a lower student-to-teacher ratio and higher expectations.

If it's one thing I know, kids will fulfill your expectations. This film proved that. Whether those expectations are high or low, and what they achieve according to those expectations, is up to us.

Students who do not perform well on the tests remain in their class, likely with a higher student-to-teacher ratio, or if they perform abysmally, are sent for remedial learning. What winds up happening is that students are broken into three groups: those who will become leaders (doctors, lawyers, CEOs), those who will become skilled professionals (accountants, managers, etc), and those who will become workers.

Sure, it doesn't apply to everyone and there is room to move beyond your track if you're an exceptional student, but as one mother in the film said, it's the difference between having a career and having a job.

I also found it interesting that the filmmakers suggest that it's not poor neighborhoods that develop poor schools, but vice versa. I think there's proof in this theory. Just look at some of the wonderful things happening in the neighborhoods of good schools in Milwaukee. Bruce Guadalupe Community School (and the United Community Center, by extension), for one.

Yes, our system is broken, but it's not the fault of just any one factor. Reform needs to happen, proven success from model programs needs to be adapted and scaled to make a larger impact, and adults need to be able to keep it about the kids. As Michelle Rhee, Chancellor of D.C. Public Schools - and controversial reformer - said, "it becomes about the adults," and that's when we hit the hardest roadblock to achievement.

Bonus:
What's interesting is that the Washington Post just reported that Michelle Rhee, Chancellor of D.C. Public Schools will announce her resignation later today, effective at the end of the month. I can't help but feel that with this film poised to make a major impact on the nation, possibly upcoming elections, and our overall thought process and awareness, that this is crappy timing.

@Muse in Milwaukee, A Short Review

This update is a few days overdue, but it's taken me that long to come down from the ocular and auditory high I received at Muse's Bradley Center show.

First, the opening act, Passion Pit, about which I only have the following to say (in the form of a conversation had during their set):

J: Wait, is their band name Passion Pit or Passion Fruit?
MsQ: Wait, I thought we were listening to MGMT...

Let's just hope Passion Pit doesn't pull a Stephenie Meyer and claim they've never heard of MGMT and, therefore, wouldn't count them as an influence.

Now, to Muse.

The show was, in a word, Epic. Yes, with a capital E.

Though the UK alternative rock band boasts 3 multi-talented members (seriously, no one should be allowed to be as talented as Matthew Bellamy), it is this author's opinion that the video for this arena tour should count as the fourth (not to mention the man-in-black/on-stage-roadie spotted adding to the mix).

Seriously, though, whatever they paid the concert stage designer and video director was not enough. Exhibit A:



I especially appreciated the effects for the show's opener of Uprising.

Ti molodyets, Comrade!

Not to mention the social commentary during United States of Eurasia. It was especially moving in light of the recent rash of news reports linking bullying - especially toward the LGBT community - to student suicides.

All in all, Muse put on a fantastic show, further proving my theory that the number of semi trucks (at least 2 dozen for this show) required to haul the set from venue to venue is in direct proportion to the awesomeness of said show.

#mff2 Part 3: Eastern Europe

It's no secret that I have a general interest in all things Eastern Europe.

I'd be lying if I didn't admit to an ardent love of halusky, langos, and Soproni.

This is likely why I was drawn to the following two films during the Milwaukee Film Festival. The first deals with cooking, and I love me some of that, and the second is set in the midst of the Carpathian mountains and is presented partly in Hungarian. You know I especially appreciate that.

Cooking History
This film spans almost a century of war, and investigates what is was like for those soldiers who were commissioned to cook for their thousands of brethren on the battlefield. Through stalwart interviews sometimes presented tongue-in-cheek by the filmmakers, we get to hear war stories from those who fought a different sort of battle - feeding thousands of soldiers utilizing a cooking space sometimes the size of a postage stamp.

Each set of interviews is accompanied by a recipe that will feed the soldiers in question. A little known fact is that a pinch of salt makes most everything palatable.

Overall this film was at times funny, other times poignant, and always entertaining. A true storyteller's documentary.

My only comment is to remind the audience that even though you may buy your meat in cellophane-wrapped styrofoam trays, yes, the animals still had to be killed in the process. Even though you, as a consumer in America, are far removed from any food growing/harvesting/butchering process, it's far past the time you remember where it comes from. So stop harrumphing, covering your eyes, and gasping with outrage when you see that chicken's neck broke or that cow's vein cut open in the film. After all - a dirty secret you likely don't want to hear - animals are kept and killed far less humanely in our U.S. mass-produced food system than what you saw here.

Katalin Varga
I really wanted to like this film. During the screening I kept reminding myself how beautiful Hungarian and Romanian countrysides are as I closed my eyes and listened to them speak in those lovely, melodic native languages. I reminded myself that I was supposed to like this film and be its champion. I was transported back to my time in Hungary, convincing myself that I should like this film based on that tie alone.

But it didn't work.

Until the end.

To say I was highly disappointed with the cinematography would be an understatement. I think my 5-year-old Sony handycam could do a better job of capturing what were supposedly breathtaking views of the Carpathian mountains. We'll never know. The scenes ended up flat and sometimes just awkward depending on the camera angle.

The filmmakers also did that stupid shaky camera thing that, I think, filmmakers believe either a) makes things seem scarier, or b) makes things seem more "real," but really just gives the audience a headache and makes me, personally, not want to look at the screen.

But the story was awesome...unsettling...disturbing...heartbreaking...and loving.

And the end...

The end made all the rest of it so worth it.

On a somewhat mff2-related topic: I'm happy to report that I won a screening pass for two from OnMilwaukee.com to see Waiting for Superman next week. I was so disappointed to have missed this film at the festival - the 2010 Allan H. (Bud) & Suzanne L. Selig Audience Award winner. I'll have a little recap next week.

#mff2 Part 1 - Opening Weekend

Last week I shared my anticipatory Milwaukee Film Festival schedule that included a - for me - quite strenuous run of films.

Well, it's a woman's prerogative to change her mind. More importantly, if you know me, then you know I'm a bit on the spontaneous side and not wont to follow a schedule too closely.

Therefore, I must now present to you my actual Milwaukee Film Festival schedule - as has happened thus far, and broken down into 3 parts for your reading pleasure. Here is Part 1 - Opening Weekend.

Blue Valentine
I'm not sure how I feel about this film. That I'm still trying to work it out should tell you something favorable. Michelle Williams and Ryan Gosling gave great performances - genuine, heartfelt, and all those other buzzword accolades you've likely been hearing.

But I'm just not sure how I feel about this film.

For one, I'm not sure that I ended up where I was supposed to. I heard two reactions from my non-random sampling of friends who saw the screening - either they were right there with the film to the very end, or they were like me and left convinced there's more to the story.

If the former is supposed to be the case, then I don't buy it and I think the plot is too simplistic and easy to be the gritty, honest, intimate portrayal of a relationship that it's been billed to be.

If the latter is the case, then I think it truly is a thought-provoking film - as evidenced by my continued musings, 6 days after the screening. If the end - rather than wrapping up the dual-timeline plot - is instead meant to leave us wondering, hoping, and drawing our own conclusions...then I think it truly is an honest view of falling in and out of love. Because that process is never ending, always evolving, and, ultimately, leaves you questioning.

Kids Shortz: Size Medium
They tell you when you sign up to volunteer with the film festival that you won't be able to see any films while you are actually volunteering. This is probably more true than not, but I was fortunate enough to be able to jump in the theater during a slow morning.

Not only is this the first year North Shore Cinema is screening, it is also the first year for the Children's Festival, which includes films, shorts, education, and activities.

My thoughts on the Size Medium (ages 7+) shorts:

Favorites: Story

Cherry on the Cake
This story of the plight of the middle child made me scrunch up my face, hold my breath, and try not to bawl like a baby. I'm no middle child, but the metaphor of poor little Cherry getting smaller and smaller as her family ignores her on her birthday is one that any of us can relate to.





Gerald's Last Day


It's clear why some of these shorts are meant for older children and not the toddler set. Poor, fat (but cuddly) Gerald has one more day to find an owner and doesn't seem to be having much luck. Personally, this short made me want to run to the humane society and adopt every animal on site. Don't worry, though, the end is a happy one.


Sooner or Later
This cute little film is about two formerly solitary animals - one nocturnal, one not - coming together when the world experiences a little hiccup and time gets a bit, er, rescheduled.






Favorites: Humor

KFJG


Don't you just love it when they put 'em on YouTube?

Pigeon: Impossible


Yep, totally awesome.

Favorites: Art & Style

Breaking the Mould
Life through the eyes of an apple. Not what you'd normally think of as an enticing short film, but it is harvest season in Wisconsin, and I do love myself some cider.

View it here.

Life Leaf
This was my absolute favorite of the bunch. As the description says, "a little girl finds the whole world inside of a leaf." It's a great metaphor for our interconnected natural world. You can read environmentalism and conservation into it if you want. The Pacific Northwest aboriginal artwork is absolutely breathtaking.

You can read an interview with the award-winning animator and creator here.

FYI - If I could buy the soundtrack for each of these short films - or if they could be packaged together in one low, Milwaukee film festival price, then I would pay whatever you wanted me to...within reason, if I'm being honest.

Azur & Asmar
I heard this film was beautiful, but that just doesn't do it justice.



If they sold framed prints of the film's screenshots I'd buy them and decorate my house.

Wasteland
This film has won so many audience awards you know something's gotta be right. The documentary balances just the right amount of humanity with education and technical merit. It was filmed over three years, primarily in Gramacho Garden - the ironically named world's largest garbage dump, and even with the lowly setting still manages to be beautiful. It's as much a story of the individuals who work as recyclables pickers as it is of world-reknown artist, Vik Muniz, as he struggles with the documentarian's greatest dilemma - how to share the important stories of others without fundamentally changing their lives.

Ultimately, lives are changed - some for the better, some not. Above all, I think the greatest accomplishment of this film, is showing how much beauty can be found in what we perceive to be garbage.

It's films like this one that make me proud to live in a city with such a fantastic arts and culture community. The Milwaukee Film Festival is just one example of an organization giving us the means to change our perspectives and learn more about global issues through art.

I'll elaborate more on this in #mff2 Part 2, but I encourage you to get out to the cinema while there's still time and see some films you likely won't get the chance to see elsewhere. Challenge yourself - your tastes, your perspectives, what you thought you knew about the world.

Give these films a chance, but most of all, support the rich arts and culture community in Milwaukee.

Man Shows

Man Shows. There's a title to get the ladies excited. Too bad I mean "TV shows with an audience demographic of male ages 18-39" and not "chippendales." Ew, skeevy. As far as eye candy goes, gimme any sporting event with athletic sweaty men over a skeevy strip show any day.

Bygones.

Maybe I have an abnormally high level of testosterone flowing through my veins (probably not as evidenced by the mammaries), or perhaps I'm just your classic tomboy (ding, ding), but I love a good Man Show. And what better way to celebrate the season premiere of just such a delight than with a blog post that espouses the wonders of my favorites? Let's get crackin'.

1. Deadliest Catch
I love me some Blue Collar Reality TV. I've said it before and I'll keep saying it, but Deadliest Catch is boss.



2. Tosh.0
Yeah, yeah, I know what you're thinking. It's politically incorrect. Daniel Tosh is a dick shine. Whatever. I'm sure he's heard it all, and I'm sure you're right. But there's something very appealing about a show - even a comedy show - that doesn't pull any punches. In this day and age when every celebrity, politician, water cooler Kathy, whathaveyou is verbally walking on eggshells in an effort to not offend any person, place, thing, or idea, it's refreshing to watch a show that makes an effort to equally offend everyone. Not THAT'S equality. In the "man" sense, I assume.

Tosh.0	Weds 10:30pm / 9:30c
Beach Flip
www.comedycentral.com
Tosh.0 Videos Daniel Tosh Web Redemption

3. Sons of Anarchy
Perhaps it's because I grew up so close to the Rez (that's "reservation" for you non-native folks), but I've got me a soft spot for SoA. The lawlessness, the tattoos, the theme song co-written by Velvet Revolver's David Kushner...it all adds up to one thrill ride of a show about, let's face it, a motorcycle mafia. Your two favorite things in life, right? Harleys and assassinations? I thought so.

Last season ended with quite a bang, and I know I'm not the only Lady Fan anxiously awaiting the premiere tonight.

Book Review: Columbine by Dave Cullen

Occasionally I like to post a book, movie, or music review for pieces I particularly enjoy...or hate with unrelenting passion. I kid. But truly, sometimes I come across something I so enjoy that I'd like to recommend it to you in the hopes that you enjoy it also.

It is with this spirit that I introduce you to a book I've recently finished: Columbine by Dave Cullen.

I'd have to describe the book as a sometimes fast-paced account of the years leading up to, and years following, the Columbine school tragedy.

I say "sometimes fast-paced" because other times it's a bit jumpy, moving between the scene of April 20th, and the past events of the planning stages or the investigation time line.

Meticulously researched, the account includes hundreds of hours of interviews weaved together in a disturbing, yet stirring narrative. Disturbing because, by this account, officials had many red flags leading up to April 20th that they failed to act upon, which may have derailed Harris and Klebold's plan, and stirring because the stories of the survivors move between heartbreaking and inspiring.

As I've mentioned, the book is a bit jumpy, dropping threads of pre-April 20th and then picking up with the narrative of the tragedy or snippets of post-April 20th, but I almost think it works better that way. After all, the book took me a month to read mainly because I could only handle it in small doses. The zig zag between story lines is effective in managing your sanity.

I highly recommend it to anyone who wants to know what really happened, why they did it, and what happened to Littleton afterward. Warning: Not for the faint of heart.

Annual VD Post

If I had a nickel every time someone asked why I don't have a boyfriend I would have, well, at least a dozen nickels, which isn't that many in the scheme of things.

Still, after reading this story, I now have a new reply to folks asking me that question. It's because I'm looking for a guy like that, though, of course, single and more in my age bracket. Until I find him I'll keep collecting those nickels, thank you very much.

With that said, I bet you're wondering what all this has to do with venereal disease.

The answer, of course, is nothing.

VD is my shorthand for Valentine's Day. It's a little known fact that, for all intents and purposes, venereal disease and Valentine's Day are one in the same.

In my estimation, the best way to spend VD is by watching horror movies. For those of you with a honey, you can snuggle up together when the going gets tough (read: scenes get scary), and for the single folks, you can gleefully watch what was a romance movie go horribly awry.

Thus, I bring to you, the five best horror movies for VD (in no particular order):

1. White Zombie (1932)
The first zombie film ever made, it begins with a classic love triangle. Neil and Madeline are engaged. They take a trip to Haiti. Charles Beaumont wants Madeline for himself. He enlists Bela Lugosi's character (name too ridiculous for publication here), who gives him a vial of a mysterious drug. Madeline dies after inhaling the drug, but we find later that she isn't dead. She's a zombie, and Lugosi and his zombie slaves come to claim her.

2. Amityville Horror (1979, 2005)
Newlyweds move into a house - a grand house on waterfront property that they shouldn't be able to afford. It seems too good to be true. It is. I think the 1979 version is the scariest - there's something about horror movies of the 1960's and 70's that had a great suspense factor where now they usually just have a bloodshed factor. I do, however, think the 2005 version is pretty good, but Ryan Reynold's naked torso has a lot to do with my favorable opinion.

3. Rosemary's Baby (1968)
Rosemary and her husband move into a new apartment. Husband is an actor, and a bad one at that. He makes friends with the neighbors. Suddenly his acting career takes off, and Rosemary gets preggers. What's more romantic than your hubby bartering the use of your womb in trade for career success?

4. Shaun of the Dead (2004)
Who doesn't love a horror movie that's also a comedy? And for this one, the romance factor is pretty high seeing as how Shaun braves the zombie-filled London streets just to ensure that his ex-girlfriend, Liz, is safe. Ladies, this is probably the only way you'll get your man to willingly see a romantic comedy.

5. The Shining (1980)
Wife with bug eyes and writer husband move the family to a remote, isolated hotel to be caretakers in the off-season. Hotel is haunted. Husband becomes possessed and tries to kill his family. Now THAT'S romance for the ages.

Single in the City: Up in the Air

Today I went to see Up in the Air. By myself. Remember, Internets, I like to do such things.

The theater was filled with approximately 115 empty seats, 9 people over the age of retirement, and yours truly.

I breezed in at a tight 5 minutes early - the only slightly awkward part about seeing a movie by yourself is sitting in the theater 20 minutes before showtime and blocking the center section of the row because of the weird, American, every-other-seat rule.

You know what I'm talking about.

Every person/couple/group MUST sit with one seat separating them.



Makes it damn tricky for a couple arriving late at a sold out midnight show of Lord of the Rings to find seats together is all I'm saying.

Anyway, back to the matter at hand. Yes, the audience was filled with the elderly, and yes it made me wonder if my generation undervalues the sex appeal of George Clooney.



For shame, Ladies, for shame.

The movie itself was very well done with only a few weaknesses, not that I'm the expert. But I can see why it's nominated for Best Picture, why Clooney, Farmiga, and Kendrick are nominated for acting, and why the film is NOT nominated for editing. Learn more about that here, but even I noticed a few odd choices in cuts...again, I'm not the expert.

I have to say though, my very favorite part of the movie was Sam Elliott. Because who better to be the metaphor for the culmintation of all that Clooney's character hoped and dreamed than the very man who gave The Dude his Zen back?



"Sometimes the bar, well, he eats you."

Exactly, Stranger, exactly.

But will the granny in row four please stop sighing so loudly and take her geritol already?

Reason #483 that I am a Nerd

Dear Discovery Channel,

You've kept me in suspense for far too long. You may remember a little love letter I sent you last year, DC. Well the subject of that letter is why I am writing to you today.

Season 5 of Deadliest Catch premieres tonight, after what has seemed like an eternity. You left me with many questions last year; questions I need answered.

Will Phil return for another season? Or give up the hard life of a crab fisherman in favor of his health, and turn the business over to the next generation of Harris men? Will Edgar bite the head off a fish within the first 5 minutes of the premiere? (Answer is No!!!!)

Which boat will win the crab count, and which captain will win the Captain's Wager? And finally, the most important question of all, will the Bon Jovi theme song still manage to make my heart flutter?

Only time will tell, DC, but know that I am here for you all the way. Thank you, Discovery Channel, thank you for providing me this delightful Blue Collar TV porn. I am sure it is only for my benefit, and not just because it's a ratings goldmine.

Love,
Me

UPDATE: Movie Recap

You will remember that a few weeks ago I left a little bit of my soul at the Mayfair AMC theater after seeing this bomb of a movie.

My Blogger friend, mcarnold, has completed the recap of the "film's" storylines, and you can read mcarnold's post here where she recaps the Jennifer Connelly, Scarlet Johansson, and Bradley Cooper "love" triangle.

Girl's Night Out

Saturday was a long-awaited girl's night out which included a viewing of the much anticipated He's Just Not that Into You. After seeing the film in a theater with 300 women and 11 men, it is the estimation of this author that "he's" not worth having if he's just not that into me. Even more, this author wonders why he's just not that into me, because he can be darn sure I would never drag him to see a movie like this (unlike at least 11 women in the theater who brought their boyfriends/husbands/brothers). The estrogen was almost too much for me to take, much less someone born on the testosterone side of the scale.

In a special blogging episode brought to you by the entire annual U.S. production of tampons, Accidental Wisconsinite and I will be team blogging our take on the film's charms, of which there were few. It is the humble opinion of MsQuarter and mcarnold, that we were the only two people in the theater who were snickering when the words "you're my exception" came out of Mac Guy's mouth.


This is just one example of this film's Achilles heel - just when you (the viewer) get into a storyline, the screen writer pulls out the cheesiest, schluppiest line, which leaves you with nothing else to do but groan in frustration and disappointment of unmet expectations.

In fulfillment of a promise to take half of the film's story lines and add my usual witty, delightful spin, I will now give you a rundown of the Aniston/Affleck, Goodwin/Long, and Barrymore/Connelly love pairings. Pairings, as in, boxed wine with Velveeta.

Aniston/Affleck: For the first 90% of the film's run time, Ben Affleck adamantly proclaims his distaste for all things marraige. He hates it, doesn't understand it, does not want it, and will not touch it with a 30 foot pole, even with the gorgeous Jennifer Aniston being hit with the end of it.

Then Jen's father takes a turn for the worse at her little sister's wedding (yes! Horror of all horrors, the younger sister is married before the older, spinster sister. Where are we? 1786?). Ben comes to the rescue, Jen realizes he's the one no matter if he won't sign a flimsy piece of paper that ensures inheritance rights, spousal coverage on health insurance, and access to additional 5th Amendment rights. No, she's willing to give it all up just so long as Ben leaves his ratty khaki pants on his boat before moving back home with her.

In the biggest surprise of the entire movie, a surprise that no one saw coming or foreshadowed with the pants bit, Ben moves home and does some laundry. As Jen is helping him fold said laundry she sees the contemptible ratty pants.

She attempts to throw them out, but just when she hits the trash can, Ben tells her to check the pockets first. Oh my god, what do you think's gonna happen????

She finds an engagement ring, and Ben says, "I can't be happy unless you're happy. So I'm going to throw away 33 years of concrete, dogmatic beliefs just so that you feel better about yourself. Forget that I will be secretly waiting for our marriage to end in an ugly armageddon of a divorce 15 years after we say our vows, just as it happened to my parents. Hopefully any children we will have by then will be spared the humiliation and lifelong hatred for marriage that I was left with."

Don't you think that was romantic? And completely unpredictable? I'm sure glad they adapted a perfectly good book into a movie like this.

Goodwin/Long: Ginnifer Goodwin and the Mac Guy represent the major story line of the entire movie. In fact, Justin Long (aka: Mac Guy) is the conduit for Greg Behrendt's famous adage. You'll remember that Greg Behrendt is the brain trust behind the He's Just Not That Into You craze.

Mac Guy spent 75% of the film being charming, witty, and entertaining, while Goodwin spent it stereotyping women as crazy, overly dependent, and given to stalking.

They begin as friends, and when Goodwin realizes that the signals coming from Mac Guy scream "jump my bones," she, well, jumps his bones. Mac Guy is not amused. In fact, this seems the end of it as he calls her a crazy, overly dependent woman with stalkerish tendencies. She fights back with a stinger, saying at least she puts herself out there to be hurt. Burn!

Sidenote: It is this author's opinion that this new, "modern," tendency by society to expect women to always "put themselves out there" does not help the stereotype of us as crazy, dependent, stalkerish women. Nor the stereotype of men as lazy, noncommittal losers. In fact, it is this author's strong opinion that men need to go back to being "the hunters," while women remain "the hunted." With all the talk of Women's Lib and equality, men need one place to maintain the facade of the "dominant," masculine sex. Let that materialize in the realm of dating, and for god's sake, let's bring chivalry back.

This particular story line came to a close with Goodwin narrating that women shouldn't need a man to feel successful, and that a relationship neither defines nor brings value to her. However, to complete the Capra Effect the screenwriters were so valiantly trying to imitate (yet, were woefully inadequate), Mac Guy shows up at Goodwin's door to profess his love. They live happily ever after by reading each other's minds and winning at group board games.

Barrymore/Connolly: I hate to ruin it for all of you folks who were excited at the prospect of seeing some Lesbian action between Drew Barrymore and Jennifer Connelly. The "Connolly" to which I refer is Kevin Connolly, formerly known as "E" on Entourage.

These two only hooked up at the end of the movie, and so my only comment is to thank New Line Cinema and the writers of this script for sparing us the glaring lack of romantic chemistry between Barrymore and Connolly. Thank you for not dragging it out for the full 120 minutes. However, I'm sure McArnold has something to say about the glaring lack of chemistry between ScarWhore and Connolly or, for that matter, ScarWhore and That Guy From Alias.

My biggest criticism with this movie and all others like it, is that the writers spend most of the film's run time convincing women that they do not need men in their fabulous lives. Yet, by the end of the movie, all female characters are shacked up and loving themselves. This film was no different, with all but two female leads (see Accidental Wisconsinite for the recaps) winding up with a man. And these two females in question were not convincing in their contrived, manless happiness.

Bottom Line?
I relegate He's Just Not That Into You to the cinematic category of, "when bad movies happen to good books."

Single in the City: Taken

I saw Taken this afternoon. Ever since I saw the promos for the film (you know, with Liam Neeson going bada$$) I knew I wanted to see it. I've been in the mood for a kick butt thriller.



I first got used to going to the movies by myself when I lived in Europe. In America it's almost taboo to be seen in the theater or in a restaurant by yourself. The first week I was back in the States, I went to Old Chicago in Green Bay. The hostess looked at me like I was crazy when I told her I was eating lunch alone. I've been heading out the theater solo since I moved to Milwaukee. Most of my good friends are married, and so it's not only hard to find someone to go to the movies with all of the time, but it's also hard to find someone who wants to see the same films as I.

Hence me attending the 3pm show at Mayfair today.

I have two criticisms of Taken:
1. The Kid Rock National Guard commercial beforehand.
2. The girls in the film, who were preparing to follow U2 around Europe, which brings up two sub-criticisms:
a. These girls were supposed to be 17 and, if anything, they'd be following Beyonce around Europe.
b. The girls brought suitcases for their multiple city, summer long trip, and not backpacks.

Other than that it was your standard, guilty pleasure shoot 'em up thriller. I enjoyed it. Neeson was quite convincing as a vengeful father, and I was on his side the entire time. Even when he killed every Albanian in Paris, and one very important Sheik in his yacht on the Seine. All of this without consequences.

I give it a "sure if you like that sort of thing," two thumbs up.

Dr. Horrible...my new Joss Whedon fix.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Joss Whedon is a genius.

Check out this video: Dr. Horribles Sing-Along Blog - Dr. Horribles Sing-Along Blog



This is what Joss Whedon does when he's bored. I'm so glad that They (those who decide such things), gave him another TV show.

Things I've decided upon watching this gem:
1. I want a Captain Hammer t-shirt (you can buy them here)
2. I wish I would have known about this when the writer's strike was actually happening and there was nothing on TV to watch.
3. Nathan Fillion is one of my favorite actors in the Joss Whedon posse
4. Conflict Diamond is an excellent name for a villain
5. Doogie Howser is quite the singer

The Bridge

I recently rented a documentary called The Bridge. It's a film by Eric Steele (no pun intended, I assume) for which he rigged cameras to film the Golden Gate Bridge for one year.

He recorded over two dozen suicides.

He chose three or four of those jumpers and interviewed family and friends to learn more about their lives and what made them want to jump. What surprised, and infuriated me, was the recurring theme of the loved ones admitting that the jumper had been threatening to end his or her life for months, if not years, before actually doing so.

One of the first things you learn in crisis training is to always take a threat seriously. This seems to be the one thing family and friends of the deceased did not do. One father even admitted that when he and his wife came home to find their son gone, they knew this was the day his son had finally done it. No need for a painful goodbye letter, oh no, because the family already knew why and how this boy was going to kill himself.

Yet they did nothing to get him help.

None of the family or friends of the deceased ever mentioned anything like, "well, I tried to encourage Suzy to get help, but she didn't want to," or "Tommy went to a counselor for awhile, but it didn't work." Probably they didn't mention it because they never encouraged Suzy or Tommy to get help.

One woman was even interviewing that her friend told them every day that he was going to kill himself over the course of several years. She gave a sort of incredulous laugh when she admitted this. I gave a sort of incredulous and horrified snort when I watched this.

In addition to interviewing family and friends of the deceased, the filmaker also spoke with passersby who saw the suicides, and one jumper who survived.

The one thing that really astounded me about the film was that in every scene that a person jumped to their death, you can see dozens of people biking, running, and strolling by on the bridge.

The jumper climbs over the railing. No one says anything.

The jumper hangs on to the railing while summoning the courage to let go. None of the passersby seem to think anything is out of order.

The jumper leaps off the bridge to his or her death. Tourists look shocked, run to the railing, and call the police.

The most galling interview of all came from a photographer who had been taking pictures from the bridge when he saw a girl climb over the railing. The filmakers obtained his prints from that day, and we see a series of shots as he is approaching the jumper. We see her swing her leg over the rail. We see her standing on the ledge. Here's another one from a different angle of her standing on the ledge.

Through all of this he is interviewing that he knew she was going to jump (yet did nothing about it). The photog finally admits that he came to his senses, put down his camera (got enough shots first scumbag?), then grabbed her jacket and pulled her to safety.

It turns out she had done this before and police believe she did it as a cry for help.

The one jumper who survived talks about being on the rail with people passing. A tourist asks him to take a photo of her and the bay. As he's interviewing he sighs and says, "she didn't even care or realize that I was going to jump." His only desire was for someone to notice him and talk him back to the other side.

What do we know about suicide? That the majority of people who commit suicide, or try to, are combating strong feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, and uselessness. They feel worthless; like the world won't notice if they're gone.

It was horrifying to watch this documentary and see that feeling all but proven as the tourists and bystanders walk past a jumper and not do or say anything. These jumpers merely wanted someone to notice them, someone to talk them down, to care.

We learn at the end of the film that the Golden Gate Bridge is the number one place in the world where people go to commit suicide.

A Stirring Independent

The other night I stopped by Hollywood Video to see if I could find any gems for my viewing pleasure. I find that, as I get older (not old, mind you), I am becoming more particular about what constitutes a good movie.

In my teens and early twenties I enjoyed the fluffy romantic comedy and, as always, the delightfully bloody and scary horror movie. Now my interests gear more toward the stirring independent film, the undiscovered foreign film, and the psychotically scary horror movie.

Good films of this type are getting woefully hard to find, yet I found one lovely independent film called That Beautiful Somewhere.

Overall Impressions: I wish Roy Dupuis would make more American films. Catherine's (McGregor) illness should have been something less abstract, which then would have helped the audience feel the urgency and mortality.

The movie, by Robert Budreau, is based on a book called Loon, and is billed as a murder mystery which I think does the film an injustice. When Hollywood says mystery the public thinks of Rear Window. This movie is more melancholy, slow-paced, and poignant.

In fact, if I had to choose one word to describe the film, it would be poignant. The cinematography is gorgeous, the movie having been filmed in North Bay, Canada in the winter. 

The story is of a detective (Roy Dupuis) and archaeologist (Jane McGregor) coming together to solve the mystery of a dead body found in a bog. This bog happens to be sacred ground for a local native tribe, with traditions, ceremonies, and mysterious powers of healing rumored to be within. The lead characters are both searching for peace and healing, and the underlying theme is that of a love story. The end is simply stirring.

This critic gives it two thumbs up.

Let's continue the comparison: Chemistry

Chemistry.com
I haven’t had much success in being matched with the right men at Chemistry. This could either mean the matching process is ineffective or there are not a lot of the type of men I am looking for at this site.

For example, it’s important to me that my partner share my religious beliefs, therefore, any match should align rather closely to me in this area. However, when I chose that my matches could either be, “Christian: Catholic, Christian Protestant, Christian: Other,” I get a lot of odd responses because the matches may mean many things when they check those boxes. I could have a non-practicing Catholic; a man who was raised Lutheran, no longer is religious, but still distinguishes himself as such; or a match who is Christian and actually practices the religion.

Also, there seem to be more folks on Chemistry who are not actually registered users. They merely created a profile to see what was out there, but haven’t paid their dues and so cannot communicate with anyone. This annoys me, because if I am interested in someone I will send him a communiqué. I am then left waiting weeks for a reply that won’t come, because he is an unregistered user and unable to send a message back.

So I haven’t really had any luck with Chemistry, but I’m sticking with it a bit longer because I have to, my membership is good for another two months.

In other news: I once had a crush on this guy in college. Just when it seemed to be reciprocated and going somewhere, I got a job in another city and moved away.

I found out today that he’s getting married and was a bit taken aback. Because I am female, I have a tendency to remember crushes fondly and wonder what it would be like if we saw each other again. Fortunately, as reality tends to happen, the hours wore on and I thought about it more and more. I now find myself unmoved yet happy for the guy.

It still is a bit weird, though, when you hear of past friends who are now engaged, married, and/or having kids. It reminds you just how long ago it was when you last saw them. This, in turn, makes me feel old.

Let’s Begin the Comparison: eHarmony

I’ve been at this online dating for approximately two weeks now, and feel that I can now start making fair and accurate comparisons. Let’s begin by exploring the pros and cons of eHarmony, because, if you know me, then you know how much I like a pros and cons list.

eHarmony:
This site’s tagline should be, “extremely freakin’ long personality surveys breed the most promising matches,” because compared to Chemistry, my matches at eHarmony seem better. There is a cost to all of this compatibility; however, and S made a good example when she admitted that she gave up halfway through because the intro surveys were too long.

eHarmony does, indeed, require you to fill out questionnaire after endless questionnaire before you complete your profile and are eligible for matching. However, it’s a good exercise in self-reflection and causes you to think about what it is you are looking for in a potential match. Plus, everyone likes to talk about themselves, right?

The only gripe I have about eHarmony is with its guided communication process. For one, the process is slow, with each step taking two or three days as both sides of the match go back and forth. Though I say that now, but the first match I reached open communication with immediately asked me to meet him in person and I feel like he’s pushy. Let’s exchange a few emails and phone calls first, Sparky.

Second, as I go through the process I do not feel as if I am really getting to know the other person. It’s hard to know if, when he selected his Must Have of, “…must be financially responsible,” he meant “must have zero debt and thousands in savings, “ or “must own no more than three credit cards with neither maxed out to their limit.” The choices are so subjective, and I don’t feel like I am getting to know a match by his answers just because he happened to check a certain box in one moment of decisiveness.

The best part about eHarmony is that you can rate the importance of every matching factor. For example, you can rate how important physical qualities, religion, education, and age are to you, and eHarmony will take those into consideration when matching you to potential candidates.

Overall, it has been a pleasant experience with no frustrations or disappointments I was not anticipating. So far I have only reached open communication with two matches, and so have no fun stories to share.

The one thing I can say is that it’s extremely nerve wracking to be the first to have to send an email. What should I say? What’s a witty headline I can write that won’t make him think I am crazy or weird?