Dear Discovery Channel,
You've kept me in suspense for far too long. You may remember a little love letter I sent you last year, DC. Well the subject of that letter is why I am writing to you today.
Season 5 of Deadliest Catch premieres tonight, after what has seemed like an eternity. You left me with many questions last year; questions I need answered.
Will Phil return for another season? Or give up the hard life of a crab fisherman in favor of his health, and turn the business over to the next generation of Harris men? Will Edgar bite the head off a fish within the first 5 minutes of the premiere? (Answer is No!!!!)
Which boat will win the crab count, and which captain will win the Captain's Wager? And finally, the most important question of all, will the Bon Jovi theme song still manage to make my heart flutter?
Only time will tell, DC, but know that I am here for you all the way. Thank you, Discovery Channel, thank you for providing me this delightful Blue Collar TV porn. I am sure it is only for my benefit, and not just because it's a ratings goldmine.
Love,
Me
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