Dear THAT Person,
Thank you so much for deigning to use your left-hand turn signal at the intersection today. It was kind of you to think of me as you belatedly realized that other human beings were in your vicinity.
I sincerely apologize that, as you sat idling in the middle of the intersection during the green light, that I was left unsure as to where you were going. There's no excuse for my lack of ESP, and I know that now. I don't know why I, too, was then left hesitating as I did not want to continue through the intersection for fear that you might turn and crash into my driver's side door. The ensuing horrific car crash would, no doubt, bruise three of my ribs, break my tibia, and potentially cause me internal bleeding. This ridiculous notion left me hesitant to make the first move, and I don't know if you can ever forgive me for that.
Please accept my humblest of apologies for beeping my horn at you. I seemed to have interrupted your texting. I will be forever grateful that, as the light turned yellow, you finally flipped on your blinker, indicating that, because I was venturing straight, I did, indeed, have the right-of-way. This left me wishing I could flip something of my own at you, and I am so glad that you were not able to read my thoughts at that moment. I will carry the shame of that vicious thought with me forever.
In hindsight, I realize that you were merely doing me a favor. You see, as I was forced to wait through another red light, I was able to rethink my past actions and finally understand that I was in the wrong in this situation. After all, this is your world, and I'm just living in it.