Sunday, November 13, 2005

Okay, it's later and I have time, or at least the Inclination

WARNING TO ALL PARENTAL UNITS AND FAMILY MEMBERS: This is a downer post. Sometimes in the life that is being a missionary in a strange place tough days happen. Heck, even tough weeks happen. Well, it turns out that the latter has been happening and this is my little bitch post. So be aware that it'll be a downer. I know things will get better. I know it's not always supposed to be easy. I know that it's not all roses and happy thoughts. So here goes...

"Actions Speak Louder Than Words" Diatribe 1:
Aniko knows that I'm not doing well. She's read the signs. As Kari (my best friend) says, "I know something's wrong when you're quiet." Ah yes, cuz it's usually quite difficult to get me to shut up once I get started. With the 2 teaching positions so recently vacated in Tisovec, I expressed (in an only half-joking manner) a keen desire to transfer to EGT next term. I said it jokingly but every joke has a tidbit of truth people. So I think the sentiment was expressed to Aniko and she said, "Yes, we've been worried about her, she seems so quiet." This comment was followed by a week of being treated like glass (read: like I was going to break) with only halfhearted attempts toward conversation on the part of the other English speakers. "She's seriously thinking about leaving us? Oh, we'd better say something to her to make her feel better so she stays" and the like.

I've also been infection. I need to see the doctor. When I inquired about such a thing, an English speaking doctor was called twice, no connection was made, and so the attempt on my behalf was aborted. Wait a minute. I still have to see the doctor, this doesn't change my health (it's nothing life threatening Mom). I think they genuinely want to help, but as actions speak louder than words (you were wondering when I was going to tie that in, right?), they're just too busy with their own lives to help me.

My coordinator always talks about our support systems here and how it's no good if we feel that we don't have the support system in place to help us. Well, judging by the past week I can safely say that I don't feel I have the support system in place. The signs have been there all along, it just took the doctor situation to bring the point home.

Okay. That's all for now folks. I'm sick, but I'm not going to die (I don't think anyway). Chances are the situation will change tomorrow as a new day dawns and I go back to school. All I can write are the feelings I am now having and so you've read a little snippet of the tough times. I warned you. Now let's pray it gets better (as it's bound to) and please know that I don't despair for my future here. God has a plan.


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Chris Carter said...

Its totally refreshing to see someone being open about what goes on in the life of a missionary. I will be praying for you and for the strength to see God using these seemingly downer times...Youre Right, he has a plan!
And yes...Summarizing...the 12 step program of Bloggerholics Anonymus.... Keep on!