Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Tale of the Crazy Lady Part 2

After telling me that my new neighbor is certified Crazy, my apartment manager kindly hands me a stack of blank Incident Reports to fill out every time this woman’s psychological problems make an appearance.

Skip to two months and a dozen or so incident reports later, and I am back in my now God-forsaken apartment, listening to another late-night scream fest between Crazy Woman and the other personalities in her head. For weeks I had been listening to her threaten Unknown Persons, but tonight was a turn for the worse.

In the midst of one of her tirades I hear her threaten to come upstairs and do unspeakable things to whomever she was threatening. At this point, seeing as how I happen to be the one “upstairs,” I decide to not take any more of her threats and thus call the police.

Seriously, who knows what these crazy people will actually do versus what they are currently threatening to do. I wasn’t taking any chances.

The police show up in full C.O.P.S. fashion and speak with the woman downstairs. This author must mention that the moment they pulled up to the apartment complex, Crazy Lady shut her trap.

After speaking with her a bit, Officer Tom knocks on this author’s door to find me visibly upset. Asking if I am okay, I blurt, “No! That woman scares the sh*t out of me!”

Officer Tom goes on to explain that Crazy Lady is accusing me of all manner of things including, but not limited to, breaking into her apartment to steal her toothbrush, breaking into her apartment whilst she was in the shower to cut her rug, and being a crack whore with men coming to my apartment for “servicing” at all hours of the night.

He suggests I find a hotel room for the night and find a way to move out of this disability-check-as-rent-payment accepting hellhole as soon as possible for my own safety.


I must mention that in relating this tale to my best friend, LB, she replied simply with, “Well of course you’ve been breaking into Crazy Lady’s apartment while she’s in the shower. We all know how you love to cut a rug.”

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