Monday, July 28, 2008

New Rules

In lieu of that which transpired Saturday last, I feel I must introduce New Rules for my online dating experiment. That, and I saw Bill Maher last week at The Riverside and am, shall we say, inspired.

1. Though shalt not cancel 30 minutes before our first date without a good excuse or without showing proper remorse. Otherwise thou shalt be Internet dating dead to me.
On what was to have been my very first eHarmony-enduced date, the guy cancels on me as I'm walking out the door to go meet him. This is a faux pas in the first degree, and I will not stand for it. Second chances will be grudgingly given, but you have much to come back from, One with cold feet.

2. Geography is a deal breaker.
I want to be able to hang out with you on a regular basis.

3. Red flags and intuition are God-given identifiers of Crazy.
Pay special attention and act accordingly, and above all, proceed with caution.

4. If I, Female in question, show interest in you first, Male in question, then I will give you approximately 7 days to respond before closing the match.
One week is more than enough time to log onto your computer and click a button. I don't have time to waste wondering why 23 matches haven't yet responded after a week. Clicking a button, also, can hardly be considered a difficult response to make. Are you interested or not? It's that simple.

5. If you, Male in question, show interest in me first, Female in question, then I will respond positively to you in a timely manner.
Though making the first move in Internet dating requires little commitment, the effort is duly noted and shall be a point in your favor. Every male who does so shall be treated positively, unless Rule 3 comes into play.

6. Nine times out of ten, I will not be the first to suggest a face-to-face meeting.
Call me old-fashioned (because I know I am), but unless I am really into a match I refuse to initiate the first meeting. It's not much to ask - we're already communicating through email afterall. How less intimidating can my possible refusal be? Be a man, and be the first to suggest a meeting (complete with possible day/time/location/activity); this gal doesn't want a man who would be afraid to do so.

Following these rules will, hopefully, help me streamline my online dating experiment. So far I do not have many positive things to say about my experience, and I am beginning to find the entire process rather tedious and boring.

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