Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Vampires I Like More Than Twilight

Seeing as how the third installment in the Twilight series opens today, I thought it would be apropo to do a post on this very subject for which I couldn't really care less.

I don't get Twilight.

I understand that there are a bagillion fans who like the jailbait eye candy, and even a bagillion more who are age-appropriate for said eye candy.

But I don't understand what made this series so successful. Humdrum storyline. Overly dramatic, yet wooden characters. Bad writing. Wayne's World-esque Megahappy ending. Author who claims to know little about other successful supernatural series even though she's in the supernatural series business and competitive intelligence is key.

Yeah, I don't get it (though I do get that I'll likely get some hate mail from this post for being so anti-Twilight, oh the inhumanity).

But I do get the "Team" thing.

And so, with the help of my friends, I spent a few moments of my day coming up with a list of vampires I like more than Twilight. A few "teams" you can count me on, so to speak. In no particular order...

1. Team Eric Northman
Yeah, Ladies, I don't think I have to give you a reason why, right?

2. Team Dracula
I love myself some Bela Lugosi, but don't get me wrong. I'd take the inspiration, Vlad Tepes, over Bram Stoker's character any day.

3. Team Count Chocula
Pretty sure this one needs little explaining too. A vampire that makes a delicious chocolate cereal for me? I'm just hoping for a better marshmallow-to-oat ratio.

4. Team Count von Count
One! ah, ah, ah Two! ah, ah, ah, Three!...


Thus ends the short list of Vampires I Like More Than Twilight. Thank you for playing.

Please Note:
There are, of course, many more I could add to this list - namely Angel for his brooding ways, Spike for this maniacal ways, Harmony for her clueless ways, Pam because she's sassy, Jessica because she's hilarious, and Bill because of the way he says, "Sookie!" But I didn't want to list to get into a "which supernatural series is better" debate, and so I only put my favorite, Eric, in a top spot.

Acknowledgements:
And if you're wondering where I came up with all of these, well, it wasn't just me. Thanks to my very funny friends Rob and Maggie for the inspiration!

1 comment:

Laura said...

After making it through almost all 4 of the Sookie Stackhouse books you gave me, I'm totally Team Eric.

I'm also very Team Count von Count. Ah ha ha...