Friday, February 12, 2010

Games I Wish Were in the Winter Olympics

I came across this list of wacky, discontinued Olympic sports the other day. My favorite is Dueling Pistols, which always makes for a dramatic event. Apparently, though, athletes shot at mannequins "dressed in fancy clothes" rather than each other.

Safety - and fashion - first, afterall.

This got me thinking. What games should be in the Winter Olympics? What fun, winter sports (term used loosely) would directly increase the entertainment value of this noble tradition?

In honor of the 2010 Winter Olympics, I bring you this: Games I Wish Were in the Winter Olympics

1. Snow Angels
Taking a page from the Dueling Pistols book (the part about the fashionable mannequins), the point of this "sport" would be to produce the most perfect and elegant snow angel. The competition would begin with "athletes" collapsing into the snow, and end only when they successfully stand and leave their masterpieces. Everyone knows making a snow angel is easy, but it's keeping it intact once you've stood and walked away that's tricky.

2. Lunch Tray Sledding
The highlight of every college student's winter is Lunch Tray Sledding. Athletes would be equipped with your standard-issue, red plastic lunch tray and be tasked with gaining the longest glide. A snowplow-made hill in the middle of a parking lot would be the best "field of play," but in a pinch the bunny hill at the ski slopes will do. Extra points for maintaining perfect balance when perched on the butt-sized, plastic rectangle.

3. Snowball Warfare
This needs little explaining. Points will be given for cleverness of strategy, strength of throwing arm (as determined by speed of snowball), radius of impact, and, if applicable, sturdiness of snow fort.

4. Hot Chocolate Drinking Contest
Possibly the most dangerous of these suggestions, the Hot Chocolate Drinking Contest will be winter's answer to the ever-popular hot dog eating contests.

Winner is determined by amount of hot chocolate, in pints, consumed. However, points will be deducted in the case of vomit - the number of points deducted in direct proportion to distance of spewage achieved.

What about you? What event do you think should be added to the winter Olympics?


Amanda said...

i like these. perhaps also we could add that ice blocking event that we attempted. (partial points awarded to those able to purchase their own iceblocks ?)...

Ms. Quarter said...

I like it. I think it must be done on a grassy hill on a warm summer day though (helps the ice block melt, and, therefore, increases speed). In two years I'll definitely add it to the "Games I Wish Were in the Summer Olympics" post.